It’s been said that “discipline is the refining fire by which talent becomes ability.” I’d like to think I follow this rule of thumb and ruminate on the fruit that my discipline produces, but the unfortunate reality of life over the course of the past 30 days has been everything but discipline. I’ve lost touch with what creates that sense of feeling in tune with the well of ‘tapped genius’ [refer to installation 5 - Slowing for reference on this]. Things have been blurry lately as I’ve taken some time to pump the breaks on distributing The Newsletter digitally, consume more art, live some life apart from my normal routine, and most importantly… ask myself the important question, “What is my style? What’s my voice within art? Is my work valid if it exists across multiple mediums at once?”
I’ve gone on a small exploration of my own work recently, and come out on the other side with some insight that I feel is valuable enough to document here within The Newsletter for myself to look back on later – knowing that I'll probably need the gentle reminder in the future.
Growth and I have an interesting relationship. Growth always happens for me whenever I begin to question what I'm doing and pursue some indicator of validity within my own intentions. This past month I've been on a much less regimented schedule than I am used to and it's taught me that I often get consumed with trying to be something that I'm not. I think of myself as 'multidisciplinary' even though I've never been classically trained in many of the mediums I work in (which I believe to be the most beneficial for creatives). I creative direct, I sculpt, I design, and I sometimes pick up a camera – but overall I’m always in search of doing something that will satisfy that creative hunger I have in a desperate attempt to feed the inner creative in me. I somewhat sabotaged myself this past month… I stepped away from The Newsletter and began posting to social media more, in hopes that it would somehow equate to more "organic growth" as it's often referred to in the digital age. I thought I would give being more "engaged with my audience" a shot for once and see how it felt. At first, it felt good to get instant gratification for thoughts and ideas that I put out into the world but 2 to 3 weeks into this loose experiment I began to notice the lines that I had so clearly set for myself over the past few years of learning what I do best were beginning to blur. Heavily.
Organic growth felt a lot like incubating something very forced. Playing the game of having social media installed on my phone didn't feel so liberating, but rather disingenuous, and dilutive to what I know is my true calling in life.
The overconsumption of ideas all at once mixed with the efforts of trying to be something I'm not ultimately resulted in questioning the validity of my own ideas far more than before I made the deliberate choice to search for rhyme or reason within less than advantageous methods.
As creators, designers, thinkers, and pioneers - human beings are not intended to consume like we've been taught to. This is extremely evident when you look at studies done on the attention span of the average American in 2023. Even more so when you observe the patterns that creatives develop when they aren't being who they were created to be.
When I try to be things I'm not. It will backfire.
And with 30 days of blurred lines, prayerful consideration, and rudimentary ‘growth’ behind me. It feels good to see the light again – illuminating pure intention and God-given ideas.