A desire to be fed.
A desire to be the best.
A desire to be seen.

I notice a recurring pattern as I grow in acumen, experience, and taste level within my craft. One where I see potential burrowed deep in the catalog of projects I’ve gotten the privilege to be a part of – and end up running into a wall of frustration, knowing that I can do great things, but feeling under-utilized.

This is the result of modern-day restlessness.

Wanting to be used.
Wanting to be experienced.
Wanting to be high-level.

This desire to be utilized for what I know (or think) I’m capable of is both ambitious and harmful. I believe I can do great things, but my eagerness challenges the timeline that I’ve set for myself, this happens frequently and in most cases, humbles me. I’m reminded of what my bandwidth and current skill level offer me, and I’m able to restructure my ambitions based on what I’ve learned from the clapback that my actions resulted in.

This is the result of skewed expectations.

Striving to be understood.
Striving to understand.
Striving to do great things.

As this cycle continues, I become acutely aware of the reality that I have to face. I am where I am supposed to be. Any expectations I have that aren’t met, despite my ambition to do great things, are a direct result of my lack of humility. Humility and acceptance of being what we would typically perceive to be “under-utilized” are the keys to opening the doors we’re eagerly waiting to get through. There is never a time when humility, and a willingness to learn more, will fail.

Because of this, I’ve learned to love being what I used to selfishly call being “under-utilized” and generously “over-extend” myself for any creative project that I’m given the gift of having influence on. Things shift when you’re generous with your time and energy – despite what culture might say. Just like great things come from a season of necessary imbalance.

Learning to be willing.
Learning to be over-extended.
Learning to be content.

This is the result of walking in humility.