Monday, April 20, 2026

8:51PM

In a time of sociopolitical chaos, busy days, rapid “progress,” streamlined gratification, short attention spans, striving for more, and the inability to commit to one thing – I become more and more acutely aware of “the fleeting thought.”

8:58PM

I hate that I’m so familiar with it. It’s that idea I keep having - it excites me for a moment, and then my phone buzzes. The plan I keep trying to make - I open my messages to invite a friend, and then my food is done cooking. The personal project that I’ve already told 12 people I’m working on - I start making progress, then I spend 45 minutes watching videos I can’t recall the contents of an hour later.

9:10PM

I’ve become more acquainted with thoughts that only last a short time more than I am the ones that stick. Because it’s rare that any of them stick nowadays – and if one does stick, I don’t seem to have the time to dig deep for it.

9:22PM

When I started The Newsletter, I couldn’t decide if it was for objective teaching on creative processes, journal entry style writing, abstract thoughts, or conversations with friends. As time went on it became a culmination of all of those things, and more – it’s become an archive of entries that feel like snapshots of my current perspective, my experiences, my personal revelations, and things I felt enough conviction about to publish an opinion on.

9:31PM

However, over the last year, I’ve stopped writing The Newsletter almost entirely. I’ve become substantially busier, I’ve gotten married, I’ve taken on more responsibility, I’ve matured in my work, I’ve become creatively fatigued.

9:34PM

I lost conviction to work towards stillness.

9:37PM

Most of the existing entries in The Newsletter came to me quickly. When I had the idea, most were written within 24 hours. Now I have a “drafts” section with a handful of fleeting thoughts that stare back at me every time I try to sit down and force an installment to be written. It didn’t used to feel like this.

9:41PM

In Charles Duhigg's book "The Power of Habit" he explains that you cannot kill a habit, you can only swap one routine for another. I used to spend my free time jotting down ideas in my phone, now I click on the suggested Google searches to re-visit topics I’ve already researched. I replaced stillness with fleeting thoughts, and The Newsletter has timestamped proof of when it happened.

9:47PM

The switch from writing to distracting wasn’t intentional – it was force fed to me by media, notifications, work, online shopping, and the idea that I just “need to zone out for a minute.” But lately, I've noticed a tangible void – I miss the stillness that once filled the small gaps in my days.

9:52PM

It’s been a full hour of writing now, and every time I make a little progress it feels like an idea starts to form, but I can’t capture it. It’s just another fleeting thought.

I still have no clue where I’m going with this.

9:58PM

What I do know is that I’m working towards stillness.

10:01PM